I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
