LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
