just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
