those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
