you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
