So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
