She is in my trunk
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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