I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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