Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
