I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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