I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize