Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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