I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My life is pants optional.
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