I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
me + whiskey = a bad person
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
