I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Everclear isn't food dammit
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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