those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
