You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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