As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
