Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
