Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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