Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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