I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
