i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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