If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
