I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
