Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
