I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
