She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
