That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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