butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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