yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
