Your face is a jimmy john
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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