just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
