Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
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We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
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I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.