i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!