Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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