I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Success! We fucked roommates!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
