I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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