and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
