sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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