Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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