i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
