What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
