Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My vagina is very pro this idea
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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