And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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