what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize