I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
