The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize