Im at strip club and am horny
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
