we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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