tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
