so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
