if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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