she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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