He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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