After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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