if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
