the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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