I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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