no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Quick, to the slutcave!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Randomize
