ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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