I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
