He asked to "fluff my boner.."
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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