Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
