Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
