she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
